Helpful Tips for Efficiency and Self-Kindness
I come from a long line of Over-Achievers, a family who thinks exhaustive overworking is a badge of honor.
They had all become very successful and I wanted to follow in their footsteps, leading to a feeling of always needing to do more, more, MORE!
I thought if I could only do more things faster, I could become successful faster.
For many years, if I wasn’t performing at 110% every moment of every day I thought I was just being lazy.
Breaking the Cycle
I assumed I had a good routine to help me be more productive.
My routine would be to wake up and do a mind dump of everything I needed to do that day, but then…..
It would come….. that moment when you’re staring down the to-do list longer than a CVS receipt.
You know you’ve got ten tasks to tackle, but the stress of seeing that list paralyzes you.
I didn’t realize this was not a recipe for success, it was a recipe for making unachievable goals, anxiety, and self-sabotage.
Something had to change.
So, I tried to slow down and focus solely on one or two things until,
Insert inner critical voice,
“Only do one or two things? No way, you have so many things to do.”
So feeling guilty, I would go right back to my list-making. It’s a vicious cycle the more stressed you get, the less you accomplish, and the less you accomplish, the more stressed you become.
The Hamster wheel of anxiety!
Sometimes our internal dialogs can be our worst enemy and most vicious bully.
So, I started studying productivity, time management, and lessons on how to stay on task. Anything I could read to make me “better” and more productive.
I found a few articles on productivity and its relationship to anxiety that took me to school!
Don’t Be Your Own Bully
I started to realize I wasn’t being lazy by not completing the unachievable list.
I was self-sabotaging, which led to procrastination, low productivity, and constantly feeling stressed.
I know that may seem obvious for those people who have honed their time management skills or zen-like calmness, but for many of us wrestling with anxiety and time management issues, it’s a whole different story.
We can’t just snap our fingers and relax. It’s a constant struggle.
After trying different ways to get more productive, I started to see results using a few key methods I had studied.
Here are some takeaways I learned along the way that may help you!
Quit making to-do lists a mile long
Make a list of two or three of the most important things.
Giving priority to the things that once they are finished, would make everything else on the list easier, better, or quicker.
Don’t put anything else on the list until those things are accomplished.
If you wake up and do a mind dump of everything you need to accomplish for the day, your immediate position is STRESSED OUT.
I mean, look at all that stuff you need to get done, RIGHT! Some days my lists would be over 10 items long. Impossible!
Time Block Your Day
Give yourself a specific amount of time for your tasks.
Everybody knows what it is like to start a project in the morning and look up, and it is 5 pm, and you can’t believe it and you’re not even done.
Give yourself a reasonable amount of time, that won’t stress you out, for each task, and then stop.
Only allow yourself enough time to complete it not get lost in it. If you don’t complete a task, leave it on your list and return to it later.
Remember not to add to your list before everything else has been accomplished.
We do our best work with a fresh set of eyes, anyway. Time blocking can be a game-changer!
Treat Your Internal Critic Like a Bad Romance
You may not realize how much time your inner critic is stealing from you.
How much of your day is spent battling yourself on what to do around a task or decision you make?
For many people, if they heard their inner critical voice coming from another person, they’d recognize it as toxic and walk away from the relationship.
Someone gave me some great advice.
She told me what helped her was to treat the internal voice like someone who was annoying her or a bad relationship. Anytime it started up she would talk to it like another person.
Is that person giving you sound advice or just making your life harder?
Treating it this way lets you externalize the feelings and look at them more rationally. I found this very helpful.
I started doing this, and within a few months…poof, now that jerk only shows up occasionally.
This one is tricky and it is not that easy. Those internal voices can be deep-rooted and persistent.
Keep at it and it will get quieter and quieter!
Ask for Help, Let Your Control Issue Go!
We often burden ourselves with unnecessary tasks that others could handle.
While striving for perfection, remember that completion outweighs perfection every time.
Remind yourself it is ok to ask for help. Sometimes, others are happy to help get some things off your plate.
You may be pleasantly surprised how others can do a task faster and better than you if given the chance.
Quit telling yourself no!
Most people’s internal voices are telling them No. No, your not good enough, you need to do more, yata, yata, yata.
If you want change make change. Take a day and just say yes!
How much more could you accomplish if you didn’t have that internal critic second-guess you?
ANSWER: A lot more!
We spend half our time in an unnecessary battle, the opposite of productivity.
Get out of your comfort zone, even if it is just once a day.
Make an intentional decision not to listen to that little voice that says, “No”, and instead tell it, “Yes, I can!”
The way I curbed this was as soon as I thought no, I would ask myself the question, “Why not?”
The more you do this, the easier it gets. Even, if you start small, learn to give yourself a break and let yourself relax a little.
Your days will become more productive and less stressful. This can lead to better sleep, productivity, and overall outlook.
It is a Journey of Self-Compassion
Confronting these feelings head-on isn’t easy.
Learning the skills to defeat your struggles with procrastination, stress, or task-jumping is a skill you can use for the rest of your life.
While we may not be able to remedy all these issues today, recognize that you’re not alone in this journey and that there are ways to navigate these challenges with self-compassion and self-awareness.
So take each day as it comes, be kind to yourself, and remember that growth often arises from the willingness to face our fears, and it is ok to give yourself a break.
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